what ever went away..

"you have been dead for so long...

wonder what keeps you standing.

still now. standing.

proudly. arrogant.

ever so empty."

                                31 March 2009

.. when I met you, you were all broken, not many could tell
it wasn't easy to see,

you tried breaking the walls I had built around myself,
perhaps testing if you could in the end come out from the ones you were then building...

I remember having thought that you had been so hurt that you had to build yourself an actual armor...
is kinda funny it was me the one helping making it..
at it was so tiring and in a way painful

it was in a time when there was nothing left of my own walls,
and I was so exposed to my pain it was difficult to stay standing..

but everybody looked just like their reflections..

"and so here I am
talking in a empty room
listening to my own voices
their echoes

inside this nothingness, the silence

many lifes have been left behind
and I've been left modeling the shape of my memories

you were always a better person
...before you got lost in darkness

in any case. I'm this container. of you. and all your faces.
let me dig a little deeper. i almost find you.

and sometimes i wonder if I'm digging to rescue or to bury you inside my many journeys
the real and the remembered ones

what will be left of me if you dissapear?
if there is no memory, emotions is what will be left.. perhaps
is that how I ended up being so full of them?

how did i get here, this empty room
will I be able to understand?
no-one to ask ... only this voices, the echos

and when it all will be finally gone

I will make you with my bare hands

out side
I guess I will always be a stranger"

                                           28 March 2009

Humans

"...you were always weird but i never had to hold you by the edges like I do now.."

who I am.. my identity.. my name and my background.. my parents. my school teachers.

this is who I am. this promise. an educated girl like me. is got a life promised. a good life awaiting. a dog and a back garden to look after when I retired.

anything you want is there for you to take... your dreams... what do you want to do when you grow up?

happy people know this. they are prisoners of their intricate constructions. they know they cant stop being certain that this is what they want or it all will collapse before their eyes...

I have work so hard for you baby, so you can have it all... all you ever wanted, the dog and the back garden...

this is who I am ... a reminder of your broken promises ...

they don't like to be reminded this is not what they ever wanted.

and I refuse the spectacle, I wont reproduce to eternity... may be, may be next time I will be a better person, may be next time I'll be happy

not humans left... only broken promises


 

the donkey and you

"There is only so much you can get from that donkey walking with the carrot in front. Sometimes it's got to stop, or it's got to bite the carrot, otherwise he gets crazy and he keeps turning around instead of going straight. That's what I did." JCN